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Asking for what I want

domtothecore:

wynspers:

“Mister? If…if it’s not too much trouble I have a request…”

“Oh? And what’s your request, cutie pup?”

“I…um…I was hoping you could make me cry…I just…I don’t know…feel like I need the release…”

This is one of the hardest things I have ever asked for. Which probably seems strange, I can talk to Mister about anything, share my most depraved fantasies, beg to be used, humiliated, degraded and controlled….asking him to make me cry though? That’s different.

It’s not just kinky fun, or exploring our sexuality, or a strong reinforcement of our dynamic or any of the other reasons asking for even the filthiest and most depraved things seems safe with him…it was an emotional request, it was an admission to feeling overwhelmed…an admission that I was not feeling strong and trusting in Mister to help fix my mood by becoming more emotionally vulnerable.

 

For me, that seemed like an almost impossible leap of faith, but I saw no other option than to bite the bullet and take it.

 

I have wavered back and forth as to whether I would write about that day for a while, it was a deeply personal day for both of us, I wasn’t sure if I was ready or willing to share the details and so various attempts are sitting in my drafts as I have started writing and then decided against it.

Recently, though, I have seen a rising frequency of posts about submissive’s “acting out” to get a spanking or similar (such as this post by @dwpreturns) and each time my mind has gone back to that day, the day that I finally bit the bullet and asked for what I felt I needed, and so I thought it may be time to finally share a little of that day, if not every detail.

As some of you may know, or potentially can imagine, asking a sadist to make you cry is only ever advised if you mean it. I mean… really, really mean it.

Mister made me cry a hundred different ways that day. He made me cry with shame and guilt and fear through humiliation and degradation, he made me cry with frustration through orgasm denial, he made me cry with exhaustion from forced orgasms, he made me cry in pain through spanking and whipping…for the entire day and well into the night…he granted my request and made me cry until I felt I had no more tears to give.

The part I most want to write about came after all of that, though

Afterwards Mister bathed me, he washed my hair and gently washed me from head to toe. Drying me off before picking me up he carried me to the bed and lay me down, I was feeling weak and exhausted, happy to simply lay down on something soft and feel him close. He placed a blindfold over my eyes, gently tying it behind my head before kissing my forehead and softly going about checking my limbs, massaging them and soothing them, checking marks and circulation.

I was vaguely aware of something running along my skin, creating waves along the surface but I couldn’t quite pin point what it was, and I was still floating, I just let it happen, enjoying Misters soft touches and gentle caresses

After what seemed like an eternity laying on the bed and getting lost in the sensations of Mister all over again and drifting in and out of sleep, I felt his hands gently brushing my hair out of my face and asking if I felt like I could sit up for a little while. I nodded, barely managing to mumble out a “yes, Mister” but he must have at least understood as he carried me into the lounge room.

Still wearing the blindfold I was vaguely aware of my surroundings and the movement, but mainly I was happy to be able to relax against his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Settling me into a sitting position in my puppy bed I could feel him take his position on the couch behind me, his fingers softly scratching behind my ears before he removed the blindfold.

The room was dimly lit, purposely I think, to help my eyes adjust - but there was no missing the full length mirror he had set up in front of me. It was then that the sensations of something running along my skin made sense. He had used all of our coloured markers to write and draw on almost every centimetre of my skin.

“Good girl”

“Mister is proud of his pup”

“I’m stronger than I know”

Everywhere. All across my body were positive messages from Mister, love hearts, my safety and anchoring symbol, encouragement and praise worded in every way I could imagine - everything I could have wanted or needed to hear in that moment had been lovingly written on me. Words and phrases he said aloud as he combed and braided my hair.

And that’s when I cried because I felt overwhelmingly loved and cared for.

The reason I want to share this is because I could have acted out, I could have been cheeky and I could have manipulated my way into getting what I wanted…but it wouldn’t have been what I needed.

This was the day I learnt the importance of speaking up, respectfully requesting what I want…if I hadn’t then I never would have received what I really needed on that day.

~Wyn xx

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Disclaimer: This post was made from and by a NSFW kink blog. Do not like or repost this if you run a SFW blog that may be seen by minors, even if you are over 18 yourself. If you’re under the age of 18 please do not interact with this post or the blogger in any way. If I find you in violation of this request I will block you, for my own protection and the protection of minors.

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This is so beautiful. I’m almost in tears myself, just from reading it. M

The most beautiful thing I’ve read all day

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